Closer to the Sky
by Lumoa
Summary: The closer you are to the sky...the better the cellphone reception! Namimori is a spotty reception nightmare for cellphone service, but with Tsuna around, who needs to worry? Well, it is pretty annoying for Tsuna to have his guardians clinging to him...
1. Chapter 1

**Closer to the Sky**

**The closer you get to the sky…the better the cellphone reception! Nanimori is a spotty nightmare for cellphone service, but with Tsuna around, who needs to worry about that? **

**There are no pairings in this, although there is some pet name calling to irritate each other and there is a Tsuna sandwich. ^_0**

**EDIT: I just wanted to fix some things I noticed that were wrong. Also I wanted to say that there will actually be another chapter to this, so thank you all for the feedback!**

**~REBORN!~**

As soon as Tsuna woke up, he knew something weird was going to happen that day. Maybe it was his hyper intuition telling him something, maybe it was the fact that Reborn hadn't woken him up by hitting him with a hammer…maybe it was Gokudera sitting outside his window, texting on his cellphone.

"Good morning Tenth!" Gokudera noticed Tsuna staring at him and in an instant was beaming a one million kilowatt smile at the shorter male. "It's a beautiful day today! I'll be waiting for you downstairs! Unless you need my help in getting dressed?"

Tsuna numbly shook his head at Gokudera's question, unable to speak.

"I shall be ever waiting your presence downstairs then Tenth!" Gokudera made an award bow and jumped off the roof. After a few moments, Tsuna could hear the doorbell ring out, and his mother answering the door. Letting out a long groan, Tsuna attempted to hide himself under his covers in hope of avoiding the day. Unfortunately, as always, Reborn had other plans.

"Time to get up Dame-Tsuna," A heavy blow to Tsuna's head alerted him to Reborn's sudden presence, "Your right-hand man is here to pick you up. Get going."

"Hiiiee! I'm up! I'm up, Reborn!" Tsuna scrambled out of bed, and almost instantly tripped on his covers, landing him splat faced on the floor.

"Dame-Tsuna, you now have two minutes to get changed." Reborn smirked and grabbed his gun.

"But I just woke up and I've still got some time!"

"Didn't I tell you? I switched all the clocks back half an hour yesterday."

"Why would you do that?" Tsuna shouted, scrambling for his school clothes. Reborn just snickered at his student's panicking.

"For fun. By the way Dame-Tsuna, you now have one minute and ten seconds to get ready."

"Hiieee!"

**~REBORN!~**

After only a SLIGHT maiming by Reborn, Tsuna bolted off to school with Gokudera closely following behind. As the school came into site, Tsuna almost believed for a moment that he would get to school on time for once.

A belief that was promptly shattered as Yamamato came stumbling out of an alleyway, holding his phone up to the sky and looking around puzzled.

"Yamamato look-!" Too little too late! Tsuna found himself suddenly piled on top of Yamamato with Gokudera, who had only been a few steps behind, falling right on Tsuna. After a slight embarrassed moment of shock, there was an immediate shuffling of bodies followed by Gokudera's shouting at Yamamato.

"Haha! Sorry about that Tsuna!" Yamamato smiled and tussled Tsuna's hair, "I wasn't looking where I was going!"

"Damn right you weren't! You could have severely injured the Tenth! Tenth, are you alright?" Gokudera began patting down Tsuna, looking for any bruises.

Blushing embarrassedly, Tsuna waved him off, trying not to stutter with embarrassment, "I'm fine Gokudera!" Trying to rectify the awkward situation, Tsuna turned back to Yamamato and asked , "What were you doing anyways?"

Blinking in slight confusion, Yamamato took a moment to realize that Tsuna had been talking about his weird act of holding up his cellphone Lion King style to the sky. "Oh, that? I was trying to get some bars to text one of the guys on the baseball team that I wouldn't be able to make practice today." Yamamato pouted and looked back down at his phone, "Namimori has such bad cellphone- hey! I've got plenty of bars now. Weird…"

"That's great Yamamato but we've got to get to class!" Tsuna began to bolt away towards their school, only to be stopped suddenly once again at a shout from Yamamato.

"I've got no bars again!" The rain guardian frowned at his phone.

"Look you baseball freak, you can just talk to the guy in class! Tenth says we have to get to class so move it!" Gokudera pushed the once again sulking Yamamato in Tsuna's direction.

"But it would have just been easier to text h- oh I have bars again." Yamamato looked around, confused, until his eyes landed on Tsuna. Now slightly annoyed at the hold up, Tsuna shifted slightly from foot to foot impatiently.

"What is it Yamamato?" He asked testily. Yamamato gave Tsuna a curious look, and then began backing away from him slowly. Yamamato kept an eye on his phone, and after taking about ten steps back, paused. Then he made his way back to Tsuna, his eyes always on his phone. "Yamamato just tell us what's wrong so we can get to class!" Tsuna grabbed onto Yamamato's sleeve and tugged on it like an impatient five year old.

Yamamato tilted his head curiously, looking at Tsuna in an odd manner. "Hey Tsuna…"

"What?"

"For some strange reason I have plenty of bars when I'm near you, but the further away from you I go, the less I have." Now Tsuna was the one looking at Yamamato oddly.

"I don't understand what you mean."

"Haha, well I think you're like a human cellphone service area or something! It seems that I can always get great service when I'm around you!" Yamamato announced happily. He scooted closer to Tsuna and sent off a text.

"Of course being around the Tenth allows for good service! He is our Sky after all!" Gokudera said proudly. Tsuna could only continue to gaze at them both in absolute puzzlement.

"Is that why you were texting at my window this morning Gokudera?" Tsuna asked slowly.

Gokudera grimaced, and without any hesitation, hit the ground in a dogeza, startling both Tsuna and Yamamato.

"I am so sorry Tenth! I had to text my sister not to bother me at school today and the only place I could get service was near you!"

"Hiiee! Gokudera don't do that! It's fine! It's fine! Just get up before people start staring!" Tsuna waved his arms frantically, trying to encourage the storm guardian to stop prostrating himself.

"No! It's not okay! I should have asked your permission first!"

"Gokudera! Come on! Get up!"

"Herbivores."

Tsuna froze. The skin on his back crawled as he slowly turned around to face one of his worst nightmares.

"H-H-Hibari."

"Herbivores, you are now two minutes late." The prefect scowled, his eyes narrowing as he pulled out his tonfas. An almost pleased smirk worked its way onto Hibari's face as he surveyed the situation.

"No wait! We can explain!" Tsuna scrambled backwards, putting as much distance between him and the older boy as he could.

"I will bite you to death." Hibari stalked forward.

Tsuna didn't even bother to attempt at fleeing. He just squatted down and covered his head with his hands and prepared for the worst.

_The green trail~ of Namimori. It's not big nor small. Nami is great!_

The worst never came. At the ringtone of their school's anthem, Tsuna looked up in surprise to see Hibari flicking open his phone.

"Yes Kusakabe?" Hibari turned away from the others, listening to Kusakabe speak on the other end of the line. "You took care of them then? Good. I want you to check on those other herbivores at that pineapple's school. Report back to me immediately when you are done." Hibari flipped his cellphone shut. "I'm surprised that you can get service around here." He muttered to himself.

A small bloom of hope sprung in Tsuna's chest as he noticed Hibari was distracted. Slowly, Tsuna moved backwards and inched towards the school, hoping to be able to make a run for it before Hibari remembered him again.

"Oh that's because Tsuna is here!" Damn it Yamamato! Hibari's eyes snapped back onto the trio.

"What does the short herbivore have to do with cellphone service?"

"Well he does have the sky flame, and accordingly, the closer you are to the sky, the better cellphone reception you get!" Yamamato laughed. Tsuna wanted to hit his head against the pavement. He was so close to not getting bitten to death today…so close!

Hibari was silent for a few moments more before grunting, "I see…then I will be staying with the short herbivore for today."

Wait…what?

"Hieeee! Why Hibari?" Tsuna all but shrieked.

"You heard my conversation with Kusakabe, did you not? I need his immediate report on the Kokuyou school, and for that I must have a good cellphone reception. Because it is unlikely that I will be somewhere where there is good reception when Kusakabe calls, I need to be around you at all times."

Silence…and then-

"Haha! So does that mean Hibari is eating lunch with us today then?"

"Shut up baseball freak! Can't you see the Tenth is upset by this?"

"Hieee! Gokudera please don't bomb Yamamato!"

"I still haven't forgotten that you are late herbivores. Prepare to be bitten to death."

**~REBORN!~**

WORST DAY EVER. Including the day Reborn had first come into Tsuna's life and straight out told him that he was going to be a mafia boss.

Since the moment Hibari had declared his intentions to stay close to Tsuna for the rest of the day, the prefect hadn't left Tsuna's side. Even when Tsuna had gone to the bathroom, Hibari was right there next to the stall. It was so awkward that Tsuna was actually grateful when Gokudera had burst in and begun shouting at Hibari for invading his space. Not that it did anything besides getting Gokudera a black eye from Hibari, but the slight interruption had allowed Tsuna to do his business.

If that had been the worst of it, then Tsuna probably could have gotten through the day without losing his mind. But no, things had to get even more annoying. Hibari, of course, sat in on his classes. The moment Tsuna wasn't able to answer a question, or was caught dozing off by the teacher, Hibari had to comment. "You can't even do that herbivore?" or "Next time you sleep in class, I will bite you to death." These comments were, of course, met with immediate retaliation from Gokudera, who was probably going to end up a bloody pulp by the end of the day.

But even then, things weren't THAT bad. Sure Tsuna was about to rip all of his hair out, but things were manageable…until lunch…when Mukuro showed up.

"Kufufu. Hello Tsunayoshi." Mukuro smirked and patted Tsuna on the head.

"Mukuro! What are you doing here!" Tsuna shouted, jumping away from the illusionist.

"I heard from one of my sources that you might be able to help me with a problem," Mukuro inched closer to Tsuna, cellphone in hand.

"Not you too!" Tsuna groaned.

Mukuro didn't answer back, to busy texting someone on the phone. He didn't even bother looking up when Hibari, who had been lounging on a slightly higher area of the roof away from the others but still close to Tsuna, leapt down and glared daggers at Mukuro.

"You. Prepare to be bitten to death."

"Not now sweetie, I'm texting my dear Chrome." Mukuro jumped back from Hibari, avoiding his tonfas by a hair. At the pet name, Hibari's eyes twitched, and he began swiping at Mukuro with renewed vigor, to which the mist guardian simply kept dodging.

"No! Both of you stop! Hieee! Guys do something!" Tsuna whipped around to Yamamato and Gokudera, his eyes taking on a puppy dog like quality.

"I'm not doing anything wrong, your skylark is the one causing problems." Mukuro laughed as he continued dodging Hibari, now purposely provoking the cloud guardian.

"EMTREME!" Oh dear god why… "TSUNA! I NEED TO TEXT MASTER PAOPAO!"

Who was spreading the rumor that Tsuna had some sort of magical cellphone powers?

"I WAS TOLD THAT HUGGING YOU WOULD GIVE ME THE BEST RECEPTION!" Ryouhei tackled Tsuna from behind in a hug, wrapping his arms around his neck and bringing his hands together to cup a cellphone.

"Hiee! Onii-san let go of me!"

"NO CAN DO UNTIL I FINISH TEXTING MASTER PAOPAO!"

Tsuna didn't even notice that Hibari and Mukuro had stopped fighting until he found Hibari right in front of his face. "H-Hibari?"

"Maybe the reason Kusakabe hasn't reached me yet is because we weren't close enough," Hibari's lip curled in distaste, "I normally don't like crowding, but this once I shall make an exception."

Before Tsuna could ask what Hibari was walking about, he found himself suddenly wrapped up in Hibari's arms. Now he was squished in between Ryouhei and Hibari! "Hiieee-"

"Herbivore, if you keep making that annoying high pitched sound I will bite you to death."

"-Eeee…" Tsuna winced and shut his mouth, trying desperately not to shriek in fear at being hugged by Hibari.

"Kufufu, you can't keep little Tsunayoshi all for yourself." Mukuro walked over to them and wrapped his arms around Tsuna's waist. "Until my dear Chrome calls me back, I shall be remaining with Tsunayoshi."

"Haha! Are we having a group hug?" Oh why not, let everyone join in the awkward hug. Tsuna rolled his eyes as Yamamato hugged Tsuna on his other side opposite to Mukuro.

"Tenth! I shall join in the hug as well!" Gokudera glared at everyone and quickly made his way to Tsuna's side, nudging Yamamato over a bit to curl himself around Tsuna.

"Guys, seriously, I don't think we need to be hugging like this…" Tsuna was feeling incredibly uncomfortable as everyone stared at him.

"THIS IS WHAT REBORN TOLD ME TO DO TO THE EXTREME!" Tsuna winced as Ryouhei's loud voice echoed in his ear. Then he realized what he had just said.

"Reborn told you to do this?" Tsuna was ready to flail and freak out, but unfortunately his guardian's arms around him prevented Tsuna's movements.

"YES!" Ryouhei sounded like he was smiling.

"But onii-san, you do realize that if we all stand like this waiting for all of your phone calls, we'll be late for class!" Hope rose in Tsuna's chest. Would his guardians let go?

"As long as all you herbivores are with me, there shall be no problems. We're staying like this until Kusakabe calls me." Hope never died so fast then Tsuna's did when Hibari voiced his command. Things couldn't possibly get any worse.

"Haha! Dame-Tsuna I want a hug too!" Oh for the love of-! Why did Tsuna think those words? Everyone knows things get worse when you say or think 'Things couldn't possibly get any worse!' Why had Tsuna inflicted this pain upon himself?

A small tugging on Tsuna's head alerted him to Lambo's presence. The little cow dressed kid was hugging Tsuna's hair, cuddling down into the caramel locks.

"Lambo how did you get here?"

"I brought him." Tsuna's eyes snapped to the source of all of his problems, his home tutor.

"Reborn!"

"Hello Dame-Tsuna." As cool as you please, Reborn jumped off the railing of the roof and stood before the mush of guardians. "I see you have discovered on of the perks of having a sky flame."

"What perk?" Tsuna struggled to see Reborn past his barrier of guardians. The sadistic home tutor smirked devilishly before answering.

"Why, getting complete phone service wherever you go of course."

"I wouldn't call this a perk Reborn!" Tsuna tried once again to struggle out of his guardian's arms, but they simply tightened their grips on him, and Tsuna gave up after a few moments.

"Nonsense. What would happen if you were stuck in the wilderness with a phone, but no receptors to take your call?"

"I still don't see how me having the sky flame makes me some weird cellphone tower-Ow! Hey Reborn!" Tsuna staggered backwards as Reborn's foot made connection with Tsuna's face. It was almost sadly hilarious what happened next. The force of Reborn's kick sent Tsuna back, which of course, dragged along every single one of Tsuna's guardians. Everybody but Reborn went crashing to the ground, all crushed together.

"Owww! Lambo-sama was hurt! Tsuna kiss it better!"

"Kufufu~ this is interesting."

"All of you idiots get off the Tenth!"

"Calm down Gokudera, didn't Tsuna say once he wanted us all to be closer? Haha!"

"You're all dead herbivores."

"EXTREME!"

"Um, you called me Mukuro-sama?" A hesitant voice called about above the mass confusion of voice and limbs as everyone worked at untangling themselves. Everyone paused for a moment, looking towards the door where Chrome was standing shyly.

"My dear Chrome, come here and join the guardian group hug!" Mukuro managed to untangle himself enough to hold his hands out to the other mist guardian.

"Oh, okay…" Chrome delicately made her way over and leaned into Mukuro's arms, blushing a bit as she found herself surrounded by everyone else.

"Oh, are we going to make guardian group hugs a thing now?" Yamamato beamed at the others, even as Gokudera was frantically swatting Yamamato's back.

"I will not tolerate any more crowding." An angry aura began pouring off Hibari.

"No, guys stop arguing! Hibari get off of me and Gokudera please stop hitting Yamamato!" Tsuna tried scrambling away from the pile but a tugging on his head reminded him that Lambo was still attached. "Lambo please let go!"

"Nooo! Waaa!" Lambo began crying.

Tsuna was ready to bash his head into the concrete of the roof. As it was, he just decided to do a face plant onto the ground instead.

"I see you have everything handled here." Reborn called as he walked out the door leading back into the school, "Have fun." Tsuna almost called him back to help, but an evil glint in the Arcobaleno's eyes made him rethink his desperate plea. Reborn sent him a knowing smirk and left, leaving Tsuna alone with his guardians.

"That's it, you're all getting bitten to death."

"Kufufu, thank you for coming promptly Chrome."

"I'm glad to be a part of the fun, Mukuro-sama."

"Lambo-sama want grape candy! Dame-Tsuna I want candy!"

"Haha! This has been a fun day!"

"I'm warning you all that if you don't get off the Tenth right now-!"

"THIS HAS BEEN EXTREMELY FUN!"

Why hadn't Tsuna stayed in bed today? It would have been so much easier…

**~REBORN!~**

**A/N: This is what comes from watching too much Hitman Reborn on crack videos…now I want to write a Sailor Moon Katekyo Hitman Reborn! Fic… 8D**

**Lion King style=Holding your cellphone up to the sky to get service like Rafiki held up Simba in the beginning. I threw Chrome in at the end because I realized I was about to finish the fic without putting her in! *gasp* That just couldn't be done!**


	2. Chapter 2

Edit: Edited to hopefully make this easier to read.

A/N: Sorry if people were expecting something like from the last chapter, but I soon realized the only way I could write the Varia doing something silly cellphone related was like this…also I've always wanted to write one of these! *jumps around excitedly*

Also, I do realize that Xanxus has flames of Wrath but those are considered a sort of branch off of the Sky flames (or the same thing only in different form) so the whole 'better cell reception!' thing works with him as well.

And also thank you to ShinDragonX for giving me the idea for this story!

~REBORN!~

_Meanwhile, at Varia Headquarters_

_To: Levi, Mammon, Squalo_

Twas the night before Monday, when all through the mansion

Not a sound could be heard, not one little fraction

Their weapons were hung by the chimney with care

With hopes that Levi would no longer be there

_From: Belphegor_

_\\_

_To: Belphegor_

Vooooiii! What the heck was that?

_From: Squalo_

_\\_

_To: Squalo_

My princely poetry.

_From: Belphegor_

_\\_

_To: Belphegor_

You suck.

_From: Levi_

_\\_

_To: Belphegor, Squalo, Levi, Lussuria_

What the hell are you guys doing texting outside of boss's room?

_From: Mammon_

_\\_

_To: Mammon, Levi, Belphegor_

I don't know what these morons are doing, but I was texting that brat Yamamato about a new training exercise I want him to do.

_From: Squalo_

_\\_

_To: Mammon, Levi, Squalo_

Shishishi~ the Prince was bored and saw the idiot swordsman texting on the floor outside of boss's room. He decided to grace the unworthy peasant with his presence.

_From: Belphegor_

_\\_

_To: Mammon, Belphegor, Squalo_

I was making sure these two didn't try anything on the boss while he was asleep!

_From: Levi_

_\\_

_To: Levi_

If anyone would try something stupid on the boss while he was asleep, it would be you, idiotic peasant.

_From: Belphegor_

_\\_

_To: Belphegor, Squalo, Mammon, Levi_

Hello sweethearts! What are we all doing outside of boss's room at this hour? ^3^

_From: Lussuria_

_\\_

_To: Lussuria_

Why the hell did you use that emoticon?

_From: Squalo_

_\\_

_To: Squalo_

So mean Squa-chan! Using emoticons makes a message more personal! d^_^b

_From: Lussuria_

_\\_

_To: Lussuria_

Apparently Squalo was texting that rain guardian about some sort of sword training.

_From: Mammon_

_\\_

_To: Mammon_

Then what are the rest of you doing out here? And why would Squalo text that yummy rain guardian outside of boss's room?

_From: Lussuria_

_\\_

_To: Lussuria_

We just decided to join the fun. Don't know why we're situated outside boss's room though…

_From: Mammon_

_\\_

_To: Lussuria, Mammon_

Voooiii! Don't leave the rest of us out of your conversation!

_From: Squalo_

_\\_

_To: Squalo, Mammon, Belphegor, Levi_

Oh don't pout Squa-chan! From now on I shall text you all to make sure everyone gets some Lussuria love~! :D

_From: Lussuria_

_\\_

_To: Lussuria_

The Prince does not need your gay love.

_From: Belphegor_

_\\_

_To: Belphegor, Levi, Squalo, Mammon_

Bel-Bel is being mean to me!

_From: Lussuria_

_\\_

_To: Lussuria_

Never call me Bel-Bel ever again or else you will be waking up with one-thousand knives stabbed into you.

_From: Belphegor_

_\\_

_To: Belphegor, Lussuria, Levi, Mammon_

No more texting each other without texting everyone!

_From: Squalo_

_\\_

_To: Squalo, Lussuria, Levi, Belphegor_

Why are we texting instead of talking? We're all sitting right next to each other.

_From: Mammon_

_\\_

_To: Mammon, Squalo, Levi, Belphegor_

It's more fun like this!

_From: Lussuria_

_\\_

_To: Mammon, Squalo, Lussuria, Belphegor_

Hey, how are our messages coming in so well? I thought reception in this house sucked.

_From: Levi_

_\\_

_To: Levi_

The only thing that sucks in this house is you, shishishi~!

_From: Belphegor_

_\\_

_To: Levi_

Try and hit me with your lightning again and Lussuria won't be the only one waking up with knives in him.

_From: Belphegor_

_\\_

_To: Levi, Belphegor, Squalo, Lussuria_

Mmm, I find myself in the strange position of agreeing with Levi. Why is it our reception here is so good? I've never been able to get onto my online bank accounts on my phone so quickly before.

_From: Mammon_

_\\_

_To: Mammon, Belphegor, Lussuria, Levi_

Oh, it's because we're close to Xanxus

_From: Squalo_

_\\_

_To: Squalo, Mammon, Lussuria, Levi_

The Prince does not understand.

_From: Belphegor_

_\\_

_To: Belphegor, Levi, Lussuria, Mammon_

Ever heard that the closer to the sky you get, the better your cellphone reception is?

_From: Squalo_

_\\_

_To: Squalo, Belphegor, Levi, Lussuria_

On occasion.

_From: Mammon_

_\\_

_To: Squalo, Belphegor, Lussuria, Mammon_

Yea, why?

_From: Levi_

_\\_

_To: Squalo, Mammon, Belphegor, Levi_

Of course I have~

_From: Lussuria_

_\\_

_To: Squalo, Mammon, Lussuria, Levi_

Yes. It is most amusing to see peasants raising their phones up, trying to get reception.

_From: Belphegor_

_\\_

_To: Belphegor, Mammon, Levi, Lussuria_

Well since Xanxus has the sky flame, technically he is the 'sky'. Thus, when around him, cellphones get better reception. It's great when you're texting someone and when we're in a shitty reception place like this.

_From: Squalo_

_\\_

_To: Squalo, Levi, Belphegor, Lussuria_

If I could market this I could make millions…

_From: Mammon_

_\\_

_To: Mammon_

Good lucky getting the boss to agree to it.

_From: Belphegor_

_\\_

_To: Belphegor, Mammon, Lussuria, Squalo_

I wonder if the Decimo kid has the same ability.

_From: Levi_

_\\_

_To: Levi, Belphegor, Mammon, Lussuria_

He does. The rain brat texted me that today they apparently had some sort of Guardian group hug because of the sky brat.

_From: Squalo_

_\\_

_To: Levi, Belphegor, Mammon, Squalo_

Can we have a Varia group hug? ^3^

_From: Lussuria_

_\\_

_To: Levi, Belphegor, Mammon, Squalo_

That was mean…you all didn't have to shuffle away from me that fast! -3-

_From: Lussuria_

_\\_

_To: Lussuria, Levi, Belphegor, Mammon_

I will never hug that disgusting mustache man.

_From: Belphegor_

_\\_

_To: Belphegor_

I don't want to hug your tiara wearing ass either.

_From: Levi_

_\\_

_To: Levi_

It isn't a tiara! It's a crown you peasant!

_From: Belphegor_

_\\_

_To: Belphegor_

You're not a prince, you're a princess!

_From: Levi_

_\\_

_To: Belphegor_

Don't kill Levi Bel-Bel! We still need him!

_From: Lussuria_

_\\_

_To: Belphegor_

Vooii! Stupid prince! Stop trying to stab Lussuria and Levi!

_From: Squalo_

_\\_

Xanxus woke up to extremely ANNOYING noises outside of his room. As his eyes snapped opened to the shouts and screams of his subordinates, Xanxus could already feel the headache coming on. What the hell did he have to do to get some peace and quiet around here?

"Fucking pieces of trash! What the hell are you going on about?" Xanxus roared and tore open his door, glaring daggers at the morons. Everyone froze in poses so comedic that if Xanxus hadn't been so pissed, he might have let out a laugh.

Squalo's long hair was an absolute rat's nest, probably because of the little mist Arcobeleno that had somehow been completely and utterly tangled into it. Lussuria and Levi were attempting to hide behind Squalo from Belphegor, who had out several of his sharpest knives. However the looks on all their faces were identical expressions of horror.

"Boss!" Levi stumbled forward, ever eager, but fell flat on his face as he ran into Squalo. Belphegor lowered his knives, the scared look easily replaced with his usual sadistic grin.

"Shishishi, good day boss."

Xanxus's eye twitched.

"We were just playing around." Belphegor twirled one of his knives, carefully keeping his grin placed on his face.

"Outside my room?" Oh shit, Xanxus was beginning to get his 'I am going to maim you all for serious now' look.

"…." Nobody wanted to answer. Nobody really HAD an answer…except for stupid big mouth Levi.

"We were texting outside of your room because we get better service around you and Belphegor was being mean to me so I retaliated and then a bunch of shit happened which led to you hearing us and storming out here, boss I am so sorry!" Levi hastily added at the end of his run on sentence.

"Dammit Levi." Was the only thing heard before Xanxus completely exploded.

"YOU PIECES OF TRASH ARE USING ME AS SOME SORT OF FUCKING TELEPHONE TOWER?"

"Technically, with cellphones, you would be a satellite…" Mammon muttered into the depths of Squalo's hair.

"THAT'S IT!" Xanxus turned back around, going straight for his guns that were lying on his bedside table. The rest of the Varia turned pale, and faster than a blink, everyone was suddenly scattering into the rest of the mansion.

_\\_

_To: Squalo_

Hello? Squalo? You there? You suddenly stopped texting me after giving me the first part of that move.

_From: Yamamato_

_\\_

_To: Squalo_

Hellllllllooooo?

_From: Yamamato_

_\\_

_To: Squalo_

Come on Squalo, Tsuna is mad at us for the other day and won't train with me. I need something to do since baseball practice was canceled today.

_From: Yamamato_

_\\_

_To: Yamamato_

This is all your fault.

_From: Squalo_

_\\_

_To: Squalo_

Haha! There you are!

_From: Yamamato_

_\\_

_To: Squalo_

Wait, what's my fault?

_From: Yamamato_

_\\_

_To: Yamamato_

I've been hiding in the smelliest closet for the entire day with only Mammon for company and Xanxus is still pissed.

_From: Squalo_

_\\_

_To: Squalo_

Um, what?

_From: Yamamato_

_\\_

_To: Squalo_

Found you trash.

_From: Xanxus_

_\\_

_To: Squalo_

Squalo? You there? You stopped texting me again.

_From: Yamamato_

_\\_

_To: Squalo_

*sighs* My dad is calling me to dinner. Text me when you have the time.

_From: Yamamato_

_\\_

OMAKE

"Oh look! We got our Varia group hug after all~!"

"Shut up trash."

"Vooiii! Don't tug on that!" Squalo almost whined.

Apparently it wasn't just tiny babies that could get tangled in the swordsman's hair. So could idiot mustached men, gay peacocks, scary bosses, and creepy (girly) princes. Somehow after Xanxus had started chasing Squalo and Mammon (still stuck in his hair) through the mansion hallways, everyone had come running from different directions, ending up in a huge heap on the floor. Of course they had all struggled around each other trying to break apart, but unfortunately, Squalo's hair seemed to be a spider's web for Varia members, and everyone found themselves somehow tangled up in the silvery mess. It didn't help that they were also incredibly twisted together, making it impossible to move without becoming even more entwined.

"Group hug~ group hug~!" Lussuria sang, making everyone give him a dirty look.

"Princes do not do group hugs with peasants." Belphegor growled, giving a yank on the chunk of Squalo's hair that was wrapped around his arm.

"Voiiii! Belphegor tug on my hair one more time and you're getting it!"

"I wanted to be closer to boss…"

"You all owe me for this."

"That's it, I'm shooting through this hair."

"Noooo! Boss don't!"

"Group hug~!

The End!

A/N: *gigglesnort* That was fun to write XD

Thank you all for encouraging me to do another chapter! It was suggested that I do people like Byakuran or Uni, but I don't think I could do anything really fun with them. Uni is too sweet and wouldn't mind and Byakuran would probably just accept it and use it to his advantage. Although I'm wondering if I could do something with Luce and the Arcobeleno…


	3. Chapter 3 Part 1

**A/N: So I sat myself down and said 'I will write the bestest and funniest thing ever!' **

**And then I discovered Tumblr, the Avengers, and all things Tom Hiddleston. Which is why this is rather late…**

**IMPORTANT NOTE: This is actually going to have two parts. It's up to you guys to decide what happens next!**

**The characters in this are Uni, Gamma, and three of the subordinates whose names I pulled from Reborn Wiki- Tazaru, Nigella, and Nosaru. **

* * *

><p>"This isn't weird at all, Gamma." Uni really wanted to roll her eyes when Gamma stiffened up and looked back at her.<p>

"I'm sorry Princess but your safety is my top priority." He resumed his watching of the door. Uni let out a frustrated noise and sat down on her bed.

"Aren't you going to tell me what the so called threat is?" She asked, not really expecting an answer. The morning had been lovely when she had woken up, and Uni decided she wanted to go visit Tsuna and possibly have some tea outdoors today. It would beat spending all day inside with Gamma going over paperwork. However as soon as she had walked out her bedroom door, Gamma was at her side, looking around suspiciously. Considering Gamma was always worrying about something in her presence, Uni ignored him and continued downstairs to eat breakfast.

At least that was where she was going until she heard a faint 'tictic' sound. Slightly confused, Uni turned around to see where the noise was coming from when Gamma suddenly grabbed her, hoisted her over his shoulder, and ran them back to her room without any warning.

Now with this added onto the fact Uni had just woken up and hadn't eaten her breakfast yet, well, let's just say Uni was in a very grouchy mood. Gamma had been ignoring all her pleas to go outside and he refused to tell her what was going on.

Officially bored out of her mind, Uni grumpily stomped over to the window and pushed it open. Taking in a deep breath of the fresh air, Uni relaxed slightly.

That is, until she heard the 'tictic' sound again.

Now incredibly confused, Uni leaned out of her window slightly to take a better look around. It wasn't until she swiveled her head to the left that she saw what was making the sound. It was one of the members of her famiglia, Tazaru. He was sitting precariously on a decorative ledge outside the house, tapping away on his cellphone.

Uni glanced back at Gamma, who was still staring intently at the door. As quietly as possible, Uni leaned back out and called out softly to Tazaru, "What are you doing?"

Tazaru froze and looked up, catching Uni's eye. For some odd reason he had a guilty look on his face.

"My apologies Princess, but I met this girl a couple of days ago at a nice café, and we've been texting back and forth," He rubbed his bald head in a nervous gesture, "and I really wanted to tell her good morning today."

"Why do you have to be texting her outside like that? Come in before you hurt yourself!" Uni didn't whisper anymore. She knew that Tazaru was very unlikely to get hurt; he was the second strongest member of Giglio Nero after all (Gamma was the first, obviously) but it was the principle of the thing.

"Princess, who are you talking to?" Gamma's suddenly loud and angry voice echoed from behind her. Uni flinched before turning back around to greet her second in command.

"Tazaru…" Uni said.

As soon as Uni said that, Gamma stamped over to the window and took a look outside himself. Catching sight of Tazaru, he let out a loud curse and shouted, "HAVEN'T I TOLD YOU TO QUIT IT ALREADY!"

Uni could barely make out Tazaru's answer, "But bro, come on, I don't think that she would mind!"

"OF COURSE SHE WOULDN'T! BUT I DO SO GET LOST!" Gamma shut the window with a loud snap, making Uni jump.

Okay, enough was enough. Uni opened her mouth to demand Gamma answer her questions about what the heck was going on, but before she could even say one word the door was suddenly bashed opened.

To be fair, having Nosaru and Nigella breaking into her room, sweeping her up and running back out again probably wasn't the strangest thing Uni had ever had happen to her, however she would most definitely place it on her top twenty. Unlike Gamma who was now a shrieking mess behind them, Uni remained calm and looked up into her the face of the subordinate who was cradling her. Nigella was normally pretty stoic, keeping a cool calm through the scariest of battles. However today a happy, little smirk had worked itself onto his tattooed face.

"Nigella, why are we running away from Gamma?" Uni asked politely.

"Well," Nigella began, but got cut off by a bolt of lightning that came very close to cutting off the top of his head. Managing to take a peak over his shoulder, Uni noticed Gamma had brought out his electric foxes and was proceeding with destroying the hallway.

"Excuse me Princess; I'll answer your questions in a second." Nigella looked over to Nosaru, giving the smaller, purple haired man a nod. Nosaru's scythe lit up with storm flames, and he turned around just long enough to shoot a barrage of flames at Gamma. Uni let out a disagreeable noise, giving both Nosaru and Nigella a peeved look.

"If you don't mind, I would very much appreciate it if you could leave Gamma in one piece?"

"I wasn't trying to hurt him, just slow him down a little bit…" Nosaru muttered, but he withdrew his flames from the scythe.

Content with this, Uni settled back down into Nigella's arms, deciding to sit back and watch the show for now. Gamma had been thrown off by the rebuttal attack, and to Uni's surprise, Nosaru and Nigella managed to throw off Gamma through a few confusing turns about the mansion. They finally stopped running when they had gotten outside and hid themselves inside the green house. Content that Gamma wouldn't be onto them for a while, Nigella set Uni down on a small, wooden bench. He sat beside her and gave Nosaru another nod, to which Nosaru pulled out his cellphone and began texting like crazy. Although it was a little strange that Nosaru leaned in a little close to Uni while he was texting.

"Sorry for being so rude, Princess." Nigella, now back to being stoic faced, bowed his head in apology.

Uni waved it off and smiled, "It was slightly amusing to see Gamma flailing about so ungracefully," she chuckled, "I would appreciate an explanation on why this morning had been so weird though. First Gamma, then Tazaru, and now you two. What's going on?"

"I hadn't realized Tazaru knew anything, although we knew Gamma would know sooner than we would." Nigella said, "To answer your question on why we were running away from Gamma, well- it's been a bit of a dull week and we decided to have a bit of fun with him."

Ah, yes- pranking Gamma day. Uni had noticed that whenever the members of her famiglia grew bored, they would often pulled pranks on Gamma. The pranks had ranged from small things like spiking his drinks with salt at the dinner table, to really odd ones like switching his sun tan lotion at the beach with mayonnaise. Although this was the first time Uni had ever been involved with one of the pranks.

This…This could be fun.

* * *

><p>Gamma could not believe he had just lost Uni to those monsters. It was his duty to protect her! Even if it was from her own subordinates…<p>

After hearing what had happened to the Vongola Decimo yesterday, Gamma knew it was only a matter of time before some of their own took advantage of Uni's powers and used them for their own gain. Hence why as soon as Uni had woken up, Gamma was right at her side to defend her from these unsavory charlatans. Except they had managed to take him by surprise and kidnap her! Gamma ground his teeth in frustration. Uni had some very important paperwork that needed signing and everyone was just getting in the way!

A small vibration in his pocket brought Gamma out of his angry mental tirade. He flipped open his phone and read the text.

_To: Gamma_

Hi Gamma! ^_^

_From: Uni_

_/_

Gamma rapidly wrote a reply back.

/

_To: Uni_

Thank goodness you're alright! Where are you?

_From: Gamma_

_/_

_To: Gamma_

Not telling! \^o^/

_From: Uni_

_/_

_To: Uni_

What? Why not?

_From: Gamma_

_/_

_To: Gamma_

We want to play a game!

_From: Uni_

_/_

_To: Uni_

Now is not the time for playing games! You have paperwork to sign!

_From: Gamma_

_/_

_To: Gamma_

Boooo. No way. Game first.

_From: Uni_

_/_

_To: Uni_

No!

_From: Gamma_

_/_

_To: Gamma_

You have no choice~!

_From: Uni_

_/_

_To: Uni_

No!

_From: Gamma_

_/_

_To: Gamma_

Game start!

_From: Uni_

* * *

><p><strong>*facepalm* What did I just write…<strong>

**A/N: So many people asked for Gamma being driven nuts over the fact that Uni was pretty much a cell tower. I managed to write the first part but honestly guys I have no idea where to go from here. Suggestions are very much appreciated!**

**I will admit that the whole avoidance of paperwork is inspired by 'Avoid Paperwork with my dying will!' by Snow757. Go read it. It's freaking hilarious.**


	4. Chapter 3 Part 2

**A/N: Everyone please applaud Una maleta llena de historias who translated my story to Spanish! I received many more delightful reviews from her side. This story is unbeta'd and pure crack, seriously, I don't know how this got so many reviews, this story makes no sense. **

**~REBORN~**

Honestly, Uni was beginning to think she was just a little bit sadistic. Watching Gamma running around frantically was _hilarious. _She supposed she should feel a little bad; after all, Gamma was just trying to keep her safe.

_But it was just so amusing. _

Uni giggled and hopped down from her hiding place among a small cluster of trees in the park. She had expanded the game zone to all of the town. Gamma had managed to keep close to her for the first ten minutes, but then Nigella and Nosaru, who Uni suspected were just as sadistic as she was, distracted him long enough for Uni to get ahead.

_To: Uni_

Gamma is currently at Nanimori Middle School searching for you.

_From: Nigella_

Well then, Uni was just going to have to go in the opposite direction, wasn't she? Uni moved quickly, running across the park and dodging into the row of houses next to it. She carefully moved about, not allowing anyone to see her (who knows who Gamma might have bribed to help him).

She was being so careful it came to her as a surprise when she leapt behind some large trash bins, she ended up toppling right on top of Tsuna and Enma.

"Oh, sorry!" she gasped, frantically moving off of them. Enma just gave her a shy grin and mumbled something about 'being used to it'. Tsuna on the other hand worriedly looked around them for a few moments before hiding behind the trash bins again.

"Are you being followed by anyone?" He hissed to Uni.

"Um, only Gamma, I think, but he's at the middle school. Why?" Uni kept her voice lowered. Tsuna looked relieved.

"I've been followed around, tackled, and improperly hugged by my guardians all day long." Tsuna sniffed. Enma patted him on the back sympathetically.

Uni only giggled, "I heard. Actually, that's the reason Gamma's chasing me now. Well, not for the exact same reason, he wants to keep me safe from all those who might 'use me'" Uni air quoted around the words 'use me'. "Have you been having the same problems Enma?" She asked the Simon leader.

Enma shook his head embarrassedly, "Ah, um, no. Actually I have the reverse problem," he said, looking a little sad.

Uni shot him a confused look.

"Since I have the Earth flame, I really don't make a good cell reception person like Tsuna does. Actually my guardians always avoid me when they need to make calls," he mumbled.

"Which is why he's perfect for me to hang around," Tsuna declared, "as long as I stick with Enma my cell reception powers are pretty much null and void."

"Wouldn't your guardians just try to split you up then?" Uni asked.

Tsuna scowled and slumped further down, "They tried, we've been hiding from them since this morning." Enma patted Tsuna's arm sympathetically.

"Cioassu," Tsuna shrieked and flailed, collapsing on the ground. A large lump was already forming from where Reborn had just kicked Tsuna.

"Hello Reborn!" Uni smiled and shook hands with the little Arcobaleno.

"Dame-Tsuna what are you doing hiding here?" Reborn gave Tsuna another kick, and Tsuna flinched back, scurrying as far away from Reborn as he could.

"You of all people should know why!" Tsuna shouted.

"Your famiglia needs your assistance."

"Like hell they need my assistance, they just want to use me!"

"Suck it up; a good mafia boss doesn't let his subordinates down."

"I'm not a mafia boss!" Tsuna whimpered as Reborn suddenly grabbed his ear and began pulling him away.

"Dame-Tsuna, do I have to do everything for you?" Reborn ignored Tsuna's cried for help as he dragged him away from Uni and Enma. Before they could do anything, Reborn and Tsuna were out of sight.

Both of them were silent, a little stunned at the speed that Tsuna had been taken away from them.

"Well…that was interesting…" Enma said.

"Mmm," Uni hummed in agreement. They continued to sit together awkwardly for a few moment before Uni spoke up again, "Uh, sorry Enma, I need to keep in contact with some of my famiglia members and I can't exactly do that while you're here." She smiled at him apologetically. Enma looked slightly downtrodden, but he nodded understandingly.

"I understand," he sighed, "this happens all the time. I'll go try and catch up with Tsuna and Reborn." Enma pushed himself off the ground and took off in the direction Reborn and Tsuna had gone in, but tripped over the trash bins, face planting on the ground and getting covered in garbage. Uni jumped up, ready to help him back to his feet but Enma just waved her off.

"I'm fine! I'm fine!" Enma groaned, and then sniffed, "I might want to take a shower before I do anything else though…" He waved to Uni as he left, and Uni waved back, only slightly worried that Enma might get killed on the way back to his home.

_To: Uni_

Gamma's getting serious. He brought out the foxes.

_From: Nosaru_

Oh Gamma, Gamma, Gamma. Uni chuckled and shook her head, "Bad move Gamma," she murmured.

**~REBORN~**

"Now, I need you to track the boss, okay?" Gamma kneeled down and looked at Colulu and Widget. He expected them to immediately begin sniffing about, picking up Uni's trail right away. Except, all his foxes did was sit there and cock their heads at him.

Gamma thought they might just need a little more urging, but Colulu and Widget almost instantly began to play fight with each other. Frustrated, Gamma tried to push them to work, but they only rolled over onto their bellies and stuck out their tongues…almost like they were…

Gamma narrowed his eyes suspiciously and raised his Giglio Nero ring up to his face and sniffed it hesitantly. When the familiar scent hit his nose he jerked his hand away and glared daggers at his hand.

_Blue Lotus_

Gamma growled and almost tore off his ring. Blue lotus? BLUE LOTUS? Who spiked the outside of his ring with blue lotus? His foxes were now completely drugged up and useless to him for at least the next two hours. Gamma snarled and stomped away from his now completely high foxes.

What the hell was he going to do now?

**~REBORN~**

_To: Uni_

Gamma finally called out his foxes.

_From: Nosaru_

Muwahahaha. Uni giggled evilly, typing her thanks to Nosaru. She wasn't stupid, she knew Gamma would eventually call out Colulu and Widget, who could find her with no problem. So she miiigghhht have had someone spike his ring with a small amount of blue lotus to meddle with the foxes.

It was a harmless prank really. Harmless, but effective.

For now she was out of reach. But that didn't mean Gamma didn't have other ways of finding her. So she decided to head to the last place on earth Gamma would look for her.

Uni went to Byakuran's house.

**~REBORN~**

**Since the boxes don't exist in the present, and we never really see what Gamma uses to summon his foxes I decided to just go with a Giglio Nero ring. Also I have no idea what a blue lotus does to foxes but I couldn't find anything that was like catnip for foxes so I made something up.**

**I'm really sorry this took so long to get out and that it isn't over yet. I had planned on making this the last chapter but I'm stuck as to what to do with Byakuran and I really wanted to get this chapter out for you guys ASAP since it's been so long since I updated. **

**Thank you to everyone who has been reviewing. Everyone actually had very similar ideas and seemed to be on the same wave lengths as to what should happen with the characters. I'm beginning to think all of you secretly know each other and communicate with each other. **


End file.
